Saturday, June 02, 2007

"I don't want Grampy to die"

As a parent, one of the most natural instincts is to do anything possible to stop your children from getting hurt. Yet today, Katie and I had to do something we knew would hurt them tremendously. We had to tell them that Katie's Dad was dying.

We've known for a few weeks that his cancer had spread, was very aggressive and now untreatable and that he had months left, not years. This was obviously very difficult for us but we knew the girls would take it much harder. We took the decision not to tell them until after our holiday. This meant they wouldn't worry about I during their SATs, Rhians French trip, or the holiday.

Neither of us wanted to tell the girls as we knew how sad they'd be but we both knew that knowing sooner rather than later would help and give them time to deal with the situation.

A moment came up this afternoon and we told them. And they were devasted. It was easily the hardest thing we've ever dealt with. I felt cruel and useless as just moments before, we were laughing and joking and then suddenly everyone is crying. Kira's first comment was "I don't want Grampy to die". What can you say to that!

We've got a tough road ahead, nothing in comparison to what Katie's Dad is dealing with. I guess all we can do I be there and support each other.


  1. Anonymous7:17 pm

    Hi Steve,
    I can't really offer any advice on this subject but, I think you are taking the right path in being honest with the children. Hiding things like this until the last minute can't possibly help anyone.
    In the years to come your girls will thank you for telling them the truth and enabling them to make the most of the time they have left with *their* Grampy.


  2. Brian, Thanks for the words of support. I agree, they now know what's going on and to make the most of the time they have left.