I'm pleased that I'm able to put some of what I've learnt during my CBT sessions into practice these past few weeks but I'll also admit to being a little concerned that the brief "panics" are still bubbling around. I guess the important thing to note here is that the panics are just brief now. Everyone panics now and then, that's normal.
I guess that's something I'll live with for the rest of my life, being some who immediately tries to think "Oh no!", but more and more I'm thinking "Ok, how can we deal with that". I'm writing problems down now and countering the immediate negatives with the positives and this works very well. As does just talking it over.
I'll openly admit to feeling a little nervous that I'm going to let things get to me but at the same time I'm also feeling confident most of the time that it won't. I'm approaching one of my favourite times of year and just want it to be perfect.
This in itself is very idealistic and I need to just lower my expectations. Striving for perfection all the time is one of my downfalls and is also something I'm learning to adjust. Perfection is by it's very nature unatainable and trying to achieve it just generates enormous pressure.
What I'd like is a nice relaxing couple of weeks off work, with friends and family to unwind and enjoy Christmas.
There's quite a lot to do, both at home and at work, between now and Friday Dec 23rd, my last day at work before Christmas. There's nothing there we can't do and as long is I make sure to treat each thing as a separate item I won't let myself get overwhelmed again.