Friday, December 17, 2004

Burnout

I've been running flat out for the past few weeks at work and reached critical mass at work yesterday when I was on the verge of letting it all get on top of me again. It was our Christmas do last night and I really just wanted to go home and be miserable on my own. As it was I was persuaded to go and am glad I did. More on that later.

We're planning a major new network project but haven't been given enough notice to plan anything properly so are having to comprimise all over the place. This alone would worry most people but on top of that there's the prospect of an office of 20 staff not being able to work if we don't pull it off.

Luckily I have a good team around me who are just pulling together and getting the job done. We're still comprimising the installation but everyone knows what's going to happen and how quickly things will be working fully.

A couple of time in the last few weeks I've looked at the anti depressants again but have resisted the urge. I've had lots of sleepless nights worrying about how we're going to do different aspects and how much are we going to have to work over christmas. This has meant I haven't really been able to gear up for Christmas at all. This is quite sad as I'm usually well into the Christmas spirit by now.

I think the way it's panned out means I can probably relax between christmas and new year but will be working flat out with the other guys for the first few days of january and then pretty solidly over the following 3 months while we put the proper network into place.

I still keep falling into the habit of worrying about things un-necessarily. This has been the hardest element to deal with. I have to really try harder to make sure that once I've passed the information up the tree and they've acknowledged it then I've done my job. As long as we do our best no one can complain. Very easy to type but much harder to action.

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