Wednesday, September 29, 2004

A fraud?

That's how I feel sometimes with the anxiety. It's one of those things that if someone hasn't experienced it first hand it's very hard for them to understand just how debilitating it can be. I can understand this viewpoint completely because they've all been worried at some point but they are able to manage the levels. I don't have this "safety valve" element.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone though, it really is no fun. The horrible stomach "lurch" that triggers an attack is one of the most unpleasant feelings I've ever had. It's a bit like being in a plane that's flying through very heavy turbulence and it suddenly drops 5000 feet in about 2 seconds.

People always say how well I'm doing or how well I'm coping but I can't help thinking that inside they're thinking "pull yourself together for God's sake!"

I guess it's the same as my feelings on people with eating disorders. I used to fail to see how someone can't have control over what they are or aren't eating. I certainly accept now that there are issues that some people have that they have no control over.

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